kehidupan sex saibaba

Sometimes we are asked about our statements regarding Sathya Sai Baba's widely known activity of homosexual paedophilia, and to provide details of the same: What exactly happens? How often does it occur? Where does it take place? And so on and on. In this regard I hope to list the pertinent statements of [b style="font-weight: bold;"]sexual abuse[/b] in the direct words of the molestees. This should allow readers to have an idea of what goes on behind closed doors:

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[b style="font-weight: bold;"]Chris[/b] - "I had an interview with Sai Baba, in which he told me and my then girlfriend to get married. However, on the way out of the interview room, quite intently, he brushed his hand against my penis, at least 2, possibly 3 times! I felt quite violated, and wondered why in the world if I was getting married he would do such a thing!"

[b style="font-weight: bold;"]Jens[/b] [b style="font-weight: bold;"]Sethi[/b] - "Without asking permission, he started kissing me on my lips for some time, and later asked me to open my trousers and 'materialised' some oil which he rubbed on the skin above my genitals ... Nevertheless, in the private room the greedy old man kissed me again direct and continuously on my lips for about twenty seconds, and gently stroked my back. By now I was certain that something was very wrong. On 28th December [1996] I was again called for interview and he produced a golden ring which didn’t fit well on my finger in spite of his blowing on it. In the private chamber he said, 'Come' and again kissed me on the lips for some time as before. This time I resisted and he gurgled, 'Have no fear.' I said, 'I have no fear.' Then he said 'This is a good opportunity, so many waiting for months and will not get.' This baffled me. I’m sure people don’t wait for mouth kisses in Puttaparthi.

"Then his mood totally changed and I did have some fear. He commanded me to remove my trousers, unzipped my fly and went with his right hand into my underpants. Sathya Sai Baba the divine touched and massaged my genitals unasked. He expected some erection, but this didn’t happen for I didn’t feel any sexual excitement, no lust in the presence of a seventy years old man. I was really disgusted. Then he had the impudence to say, 'It is very weak, don’t waste energy.'"

"I was alone in the second Interview room and he revealed his demonic nature which is full of lust. Against my will he pressed his lips against my lips and started kissing me for some time (about 20 seconds). This kind of kissing happened in several interviews. He massaged my genitals and expected an erection which did not happen. Before I had to remove my pair of trousers he pressed his open palm of his right hand at my genitals to see whether they became erect or not ... I came into contact with other devotees who had similar and even worse sexual experiences and came to the conclusion that their is indeed a equal pattern of Swam´s behaviour towards his victims. First he establishes contact and checks the devotional potential of the devotee. Afterwards once he has decided to molest a person he starts by kissing the same. The next step is massaging the genitals with oil or vibhuti and finally is masturbating them. In the end he asks to do oral sex !!! This is nothing but the truth and it is for sure that also testimonies from Indians have been made who have been sexually molested through Swami even in the early seventhies. Now it becomes evident through many other testimonies that he has sexually molested and raped young boys for a very long time."

[b style="font-weight: bold;"]Jed Geyerhahn[/b] - "On my second trip to Sai Baba I had four interviews. Each time I saw Baba, his hand would gradually make more prominant connections to my groin. The first interview was a slight swipe, the second a definite touch and the third time he grabbed me and with a very stern face looked me directly in the eye and said 'you are very weak!' ... In the final interview he asked me to take my pants down. I was totally confused, so he took them down for me. He then made vibhutti and rubbed it on my genitals. On my third trip, he did the same thing, but rubbed oil on my genitals. Fortunately, I was never taken advantage of any worse, but I was humiliated when I realised his true intentions, and I felt I had really lost an innocence that I would have cherished keeping.

"When I finally did talk about what happened to me, the first two reactions were to never speak of it with others because the whole thing would be taken out of context and misconstrued. Then I talked to others my own age and they told me of similiar experiences. I even heard terrible stories of children who would meet with Sai Baba twice a week to play 'sex games' and the like. Oral sex and masturbation were common in these meetings. Many of my own friends told me about attempts by Sai Baba to touch them, but they wouldn't let him."

[b style="font-weight: bold;"]Afshin Khorramshahgol[/b] - "In my first private interview, Baba did a ceremony which is supposed to be sacred in Hinduism and is done to all the followers by their gurus. This practice involves the guru putting oil on his hand and pushing his hand upward between the front testicle and the back area ... In every private interview after that Baba would ask me to put down my pants while he massaged my testicle ... In one occasion, Baba was not just massaging it, he was trying to give me a hard on ... At this interview, as he was pushing his hand back and forth on my testicle, I was telling him about many different things on my mind. Of course, I was so sure that he is doing the best thing for me that I was thinking of something else. I was telling him about the problems in my country of Iran, how the people are suffering, the problems of my family and my own problems. He couldn't get me hard so all of a sudden with anger and an angry face he threw my thing up against my stomach and with an angry face he turned his back to me. I thought he is probably angry at me because I should have more faith in him, he already knows all my problems, everything in my mind, and he will help me in whatever way he can. Actually, he was angry that I didn't get hard and so when he turned towards me he told me to put my pants up again. This was the only occasion which he kept some distance between me and him while he was playing with me. Every other time, he would hug me and do it. My question to those who believe that Baba's intentions in playing with me was pure is that if Baba says not a blade of grass moves without his will, then why does he have to touch me in that way to perform whatever pure intention or will he had in mind?" ...

"In almost all of such interviews, Baba would breath harder and sometimes he would make noises too. Something I forgot to tell you about the private interview above was that while I was telling Baba about these problems, his face was getting uneasy while he constantly, the whole time was looking down at my testicle. His eyebrows got twisted and his face got more and more upset as he was trying to play with me. I wonder why? He sometimes would tell me that I was weak there, there was too much being wasted from there, etc. Why then did he touch it? Was he fixing things? Why did he have to fix things by touching and rubbing and going back and forth?

"In one interview, he stood up while I was kneeling on my knees. With his right hand, to took my head and put it against his stomach. With his left hand he took my right hand and put it against his testicle. He rubbed my hand there for a short while and this time he was making loud noises of... I tried to look up to his face to see it, but he pushed my head hard against his stomach and did not allow me to look up. So, I didn't try again. While he took my hand there, I felt his testicle, although I didn't grab it, I just let him direct my hand and do whatever he wants. At the same time, I would touch him by the outside part of my hand. As I said before, he was making loud voices while he was doing that. This took about two minutes before he let go of me and my hand and said 'This is God'!!! Whatever!!! It was his way of putting a controlled mind to think and find many answers to what that whole situation was all about. It was his way of covering the sick idea of having me touch him, and also covering his loud, wild voices."

[b style="font-weight: bold;"]Neptune[/b][b style="font-weight: bold;"] (anonymous) -[/b]
[b style="font-weight: bold;"]Interview #1:[/b] "(He started to wave his hand in circles, and suddenly, - stopped. With apprehension I thought he had changed his mind. I was relieved when he continued waving. When he turned his hand up, there was nothing in his palm. Then I saw his fingers shimmering. He was slippery rubbing them together. ) 'Oil', he said. 'Open.' (He started lifting my shirt; I lifted it up, thinking he wanted to rub it on my navel. Then, with his left hand, [his right was full of oil.] he motioned downwards with his fingers. I understood. I untied my pants. He lifted my penis, put his fingers at the base of it, and started rubbing the oil into me. It didn't hurt, but he was making a motion as if he was pinching me there repeatedly with his fingers.

"He stopped, and waved his hand again. I guess he made some more oil. He resumed rubbing. With his other hand, he drew me close. He rubbed some more, and drew me closer. I could hear him murmuring some things, so I turned my ear towards him so I could catch what he was saying. He again pulled me tighter towards him this time by the waist, until my crotch was right by the side of his leg, and our chests were almost touching. I had my chin on his right shoulder both arms around him, his hair touching the side of my face, the front of my pants down. It was so bizarre. I could now feel him pulling the base of my penis back and forth. It felt kind of good. He finally let me go, and I pulled my pants up.) (He looked at me and said: ) 'Don't tell anyone. Don't tell Mother. She worries. Tomorrow and the next day, I will give interview. I will give, (he traced his finger on my chest,) a chain.'"

[b style="font-weight: bold;"]Interview #2:[/b] "(He took Papa into the private room for a minute or so, then called me. Papa left. As soon as we got inside, he pulled me close, gave me a big hug, and started untying my pants. He dropped them to the ground, then pulled my underwear below my butt. He grabbed my penis, and while hugging me again, started masturbating the base of it. He kept repeating 'Purification. Purification.' I felt his other fingers grip around my crack and pull me closer, uptight. I held him tight in return. He turned his right cheek to me, I kissed it, with his prompting. He turned his mouth towards me, I gave him my cheek. He turned my head and kissed me on the mouth for a long time. When he stopped, I started to pull up my pants. He made sure my shirt didn't get stuck in the knot, and straightened me out. He kept telling me:) 'This is good chance; good chance; look, there are so many people outside. They all want to be here. It's your good luck.'"

"I went down and kissed his feet, then came up on my knees.) 'take it.' (He lifted his robe up to his knees. I put my hand on his knee.) 'Sparshan!' (He pressed my head to his penis. I put my cheek on it.) 'Linganamaskar!' (I kissed it. He lifted his robe higher and higher. I first saw his nuts. They were very dark coloured. Then his penis. I saw a drop of liquid on the tip; he wiped it off with his thumbnail.) 'Take it!' (I held it. I kissed it. I could feel him pushing on my mouth. It opened slightly. It slipped inside. He subtly moved his hips back and forth enough times [7] that I lost count. He finally took it out, and I got up. He kissed me on the mouth. He put his tongue out. I just barely opened my lips, but kept my teeth clenched. It slipped in between my lips and my teeth. I moved and he got saliva on my right cheek. We left the private room.) ... (As a particular young man passed, Baba pressed and vibrated the back of his hand on the man's groin, just as he did to me in the last interview while I was getting the chair and twice in our interview of March 25, 1998 in Brindavan.)"

[b style="font-weight: bold;"]Gabriel Merrun[/b] - "When we came into the room behind the curtain, Sai Baba suddenly turned his back against me. Sai Baba was now standing between Conny and me, and obstructed the view between us ... I moved forward to Conny and Sai Baba, as it is unnatural to stand behind someone's back. I remember in a hazy way that Sai Baba was occupied with some sort of strange movement before me and I moved instinctively around to make us stand in a circle, which I felt more natural. But Sai Baba turned his back against me again and waved to me to stay there, and suddenly he pinched my penis so I was not able to move away. Conny thought that Baba now had started to give me massage. But instead he pinched the head of my penis in a rough way. This pinch was hurtful, and kept me behind Sai Baba's back."

[b style="font-weight: bold;"]Hans de Kraker[/b] - "He then signed me to come closer and hug him. He had earlier that trip asked me to kiss him on the cheek, while I was helping him getting something from a room adjacent to the interview room ... While leaning over to get something from a lower shelf in the closet, when rising he pointed at his cheek, indicating that he wanted me to kiss him. I did so, very surprised and kind of suspicious. I come from a country though where man and women irrespective of sex, kiss each other on the cheek three times. So after my first suspicion, relativised everything back to normal (I am still amazed today, how far ones mind can go!) So back to that moment where he asked me to come closer. He then hugs me ( I am on my knees and he is seated on his chair-there are no people present). He now turns his face and puts his lips on mine; my head his spinning and my mind is running at 500 kilometres per hour. I don't know what to do! My mouth tightens up, and I feel extremely uncomfortable and confused with this 'perceived incarnation of GOD on earth' trying to kiss me on and in my mouth!! Sai Baba slaps me on my cheek and says 'Loosen up!!! With other people not OK with Sai Baba OK.'" I am even more uncomfortable now and feel disgusted at the same time.

"Sai Baba realised his and my predicament and decides not to continue. He now tells me again that he will give me everything and stands up and tells me to do padnamnamaskaar. As I go on my knees, and touch his feet with my forehead, he pulls up my arms and indicates he wants his calf muscles massaged. Although very uncomfortable with everything that had happened I still continued to listen to him. Many people knew how he liked having his calve muscles massaged and I had seen respectable men and women of all walks of life do the same thing....he now takes my head and pushes it quite firmly into his groin...he then pulls up my arms and asks me to go higher and higher and higher...NOW I AM HOLDING HIS BUTTOCKS AND WONDER WHAT THE HELL MY DIVINE MASTER IS ASKING ME TO DO!!! Fuse!!! Crash! I let go my arms and now I am even more shell shocked...he pulls up his dress, presents me his half-erect penis and invites me to take up my 'Good Luck Chance': "This is your Good Luck Chance." I am now on my knees facing his erect penis, being asked to perform oral sex. He stands there, and I think: AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THIS? COULD I DO THIS?

"I then instinctively stretch out my right arm and put on the part of his chest which hides his heart and say: 'I don't want this Swami, I want your heart.' He now drops his dress and tells me:'"Yes yes yes of course you have my heart.' He now asks me to take my pants down, "discovers" my penis is not erect and tells me that that is how it is supposed to be! 'Swami is inside there see, Swami is inside there.' Hell NO! That is Mine and Mine! And you are certainly not in there! I thought. He asks me to do Padnamnamaskaar again and again, he pulls up his dress: 'This is your second Good Luck Chance,' he said. I refuse and get up without saying anything. I am now angry, confused and dazed. I feel burning! God just took a backdoor! A very clever manipulator and professional deceiver had just trashed the fundamentals of the past eight years of my life. I had abstained from any sexual activity because he had suggested it was good for my spiritual Evolution. He had harassed and embarrassed my girlfriend and myself because of our difference in age, while he was hitting on someone 42 years his junior...He had told us to break up our relationship and for what reason?! So he could have a go?!?!" ...

"Someone had called Europe even and told the leader of the group. I got a call from her the morning after. She expressed concern and told me people had seen me walking out of the interview room all pale…then they tried the apartment but I had locked myself in. She asked me what had happened. 'Did he try to have sex with you?' I told her that it was something between him and me. I did not want to talk about it."

[b style="font-weight: bold;"]Conny Larsson[/b] (Open Letter to Sai Baba): "You soon started to call me in for several private interviews and I become a noticed person in the ashram. But the other devotees did not know what was going on between you and me in the inner interview room. I did not know myself, 1 just believed you when you said that you were God and were helping me with my problems by taking care of my Kundalini-process. This was odd I think, since you did this by physically approaching my genitals, sometimes by smearing oil, later by masturbating me and asking for the same done to you. You also did oral sex on me several times; you always seemed to enjoy it immensely. When you asked me to do oral sex on you I backed up, due to my background as a molested child. My alcoholic father's friend did the molesting during Friday evenings, when I was between four and eight years old. You were kind enough not to push me further. Instead you continued with oral sex on me until 1983. I had now become 34 years old and fallen out of your sexual interest zone. When I was a child and was abused I always reacted by doing as I was told in order to save my life. So when you first approached me even if it was in a gentle way of a touch, by your hand at my genitals, I somehow reacted instinctively and closed my door to my inner consience. I stopped to listen to my inner voice since I did not want to loose the divine image of you.

"Now, I have some questions for you! Were you aware of the fear that you activated in me when sexually harassing me? If you are the person you want us to believe, did it not occur to you that instead of giving me joy and love you only invoked fear in its deepest level? ... During the years that past by after 1983 when your physical involvement with me stopped I just served and served as a 'duty officer' in your organisation even though the 'bells of warning' clanged off and on. So many times I saw you cheat with the manifestations, so many times I saw you do acts of misconduct with other boys, I always thought you where testing me as a devotee! 1 never let the thought in that this was wrong ... It was first in the end of 1986 when I met with several boys that had similar experiences that I started to ask myself if this was wrong. At one time you asked me to participate in an interview, in the inner room, with one of my patients from the institute. I thought you wanted me to translate but you wanted me to participate when you sexually harassed the boy whom at that time were 23 years old, blond and handsome. Somehow you had understood that my childhood experiences had disturbed my identity and made me bisexual. And now you wanted me to partake in your play with the boy. Before I reacted the boy himself pushed you away and went out of the room leaving you and me there. You just raised your shoulders and said: "Pity! He does not understand Sparshan". (Meaning Gods physical way with him.) Do I need to tell you that the boy went home and never wanted to hear about you again, nor did he want to go back even when I offered him to pay his expenses. Do I need to tell you that the boy felt deeper and deeper into an incurable depression related mainly to this traumatic experience and finally committed suicide? ... Did you have to use my patients in your sexual activities and thereby using me as a pimp for you?

"Since then the word is spreading all over the world and victims from all over the world are coming out from the shadows telling mostly the same sad story about you. All over the world your name and your organisation is put on the list of scum. There is no return and your name and reputation will always be: 'The man that called himself the Avatar of Avatars but showed up to be just a simple man with sexual desires for young boys. The man that cheated a whole world using the name of God and love as his tools. The man that used other peoples knowledge and wisdom as his own and pretended to be a guiding light for humanity. Finally exposed by the innocent people that he molested.' ... That you try to hide your homosexuality only shows you as weak and not up to date with what is going on in the world. Today we have United Nations humanitarian rights to protect the homosexual community that is common knowledge. You do not have to hide behind a mask of God to be able to satisfiy your desires. You have so much charisma and charm that you could get in contact with partners without having to swindle young boys and a whole world."

[b style="font-weight: bold;"]David Paul[/b]: "I became a devotee in the early eighties and undertook the first of two pilgrimages in 1990, and was "granted" an interview both times during the first interview I was taken into the back room and subjected to one of the so called oilings that have so often been spoken of and I am not sure even today where I stand on that particular subject, but was told by SB that sometimes I dissipate too much energy this way the oiling took place just above the pubic region and on the lower stomach, at the time I naively thought he meant around certain chakras but later another devotee told me it was because of over indulgence in masturbation, which if this was his meaning behind this event was I felt not his place to say or invade my privacy this way unfortunately as I left the ashram and India that time I became very ill with Malaria and put the events behind me. Nothing really happened in the second interview except he did nudge me in the groin with the back of his hand as he passed me on his way through into his sore room."

[b style="font-weight: bold;"]Edwin Reurings[/b]: "The sexual advances he has made to me during one interview are nothing compared to those described on the website mentioned below. During an interview Sai Baba touched me in the groin once under the pledge that he would give me a woman. Although at the time I did not regard this as an indecent act, the way he did it I thought peculiar ... Now I think that his feeling my private parts is not the worst. The worst thing of all I find is the enormous waste of time, the deception, the feelings of huge insecurity and self-doubt that have weighed on me all those years."

[b style="font-weight: bold;"]G.S.M. Prasad[/b]: "I was a Sai student in one of the colleges of Sai Baba for a long time. I have seen the so called list of guys who are said to be molested by Sai Baba. All of us know now what is the fact. But I am here to say that in the list there are at least three names who were doing staircase or interview room duty & they were very famous when I was a young student. These seniors are themselves molesters & have molested me and many of my class mates & fondled us. They told us 'Swami likes it', where can I tell their names? I know they used to have so called 'chics' or favourite boys & they use to have sex with us in the hostel. They must have had sex with more than 50 of us boys who were studying in 8, 9, 10, 11 & 12 th standards. I and many of my friends still remember talking about it on the d-floor in the night about it at the pn hostel & we could do nothing about it. I think all of us should come out and tell everything so that we feel better about it."

[b style="font-weight: bold;"]John Bright[/b]: "I was completely ignored by Baba for most of the two years until 1996 when I was called for an interview with a group of fellow American devotees. During the main interview he granted me a private interview. During this private interview he sexually molested me. There was no room for misinterpretation on my part and Sai Baba wasn't trying to activate my kundalini or any of the hundreds of other rationalizations and denials that devotees and believers in Sai Baba come up with ... His actions were for his own sexual gratification. (If he is activating my kundalini why would he try to get me to put his erect penis in my mouth)? ... I admit that it is hard to believe these stories of sexual molestation when you read what Sai baba teaches (universal love, harmlessness, feed the poor, help ever hurt never). In fact if I hadn't had my experience I probably wouldn't believe them."

[b style="font-weight: bold;"]John Worldie[/b]: "Baba did the same number to me, he really f****d up my life in a way. He was the cause of my breaking up with Rosemary as he put her on an anti-sex trip. He put me on a great guilt trip as a result. Words can’t describe how I feel about him. He is lower than I’ve ever been at my worst. The 'test' he put me to (fondling my dick, taking my valuables, Tibetan Bells, and f*****g up my Lady’s head) were not the test of my faith but a way of determining how stupid I was. I never could figure out why he played with my penis so I rationalized it as he was 'purifying' me. I sent him a telegram and said I’d purify him American style if he came here."

[b style="font-weight: bold;"]Greg Gerson[/b]: "During one interview, which occurred just before I was scheduled to fly home to America, while we were alone, Sai Baba had me pull down my pants. He then 'materialized' oil and pulled down my underwear and applied the oil on my lower abdomen below my navel and above my penis. He did not touch me sexually or ask me to do anything to him. He did embrace me for what seemed like a long time (perhaps 30 seconds or more) but nothing else. During that visit I was 26 or 27 years old. At another point in this interview when I was with three or four others in the smaller interview room, Sai Baba slapped me across the face quite hard when I was not looking."

[b style="font-weight: bold;"]Mark Roche[/b]:

10.25.37 Mark Roche: He kept saying stuff like that I’m giving you a great chance, millions want to touch the feet, you know, I’m giving you whole body, this is great chance, this is great chance. Then he went over to a different of the building and pulled up his dhoti, which is Indian garment kind of thing and exposed himself and sort of indicated that I was supposed to put his penis in my mouth, which, feeling intimidated and confused and all that, I did. And although it didn’t seem right to me but it just seemed like what I was supposed to do.

10.26.15 Tanya Datta: Why would God want to put his penis in your mouth?

10.26.20 Mark Roche: Got me.


[b style="font-weight: bold;"]Alaya Rahm[/b]:
[url=http://home.hetnet.nl/~ex-baba/engels/articles/sam young in seduced.html#Parts]Seduced By Sai Baba[/url]: "One time he had his robe almost completely off and he tried to have anal sex with me, because he came from behind me and started climbing up on top of me, you know, and being that I’m so much taller than him, in order to keep prevent it from happening, I just stood straight up and didn’t allow him to do anything, you know, and I kind of kept pushing him away and keep him there until ??... I know, I want to talk to you, I want to be with you and I love you. He said, 'You don’t love me? You don’t love me?' And I would say, 'No, I love you, but I just don’t want to have sexual relations with you.'

"The first time I had a personal experience with SB was when I was 16 years old. I went to India alone with some friends in a USA group. I think I was the only person in that group that he gave a personal interview to. I went in there, and he motioned for me to lower my pants. And I did. I was very nervous at the time, yeah. And he waved his hand and turned it over and showed me some oil. And he started to rub it on my testicles and started kissing me. And as he was kissing me, he started kissing me deeply, you know. And I started tensing up and, you know, not understanding what was happening. But it seemed to me as if SB was trying to make my penis erect. He had told me not to tell anybody about what he had done, that people wouldn’t understand it.

"But every time we would go back into the personal room, his wants got to be very intimate. And he was constantly having me take out my penis and he would hold it, sometimes put it in his mouth and look at me, and then ask me to do the same thing or push my head down and lift his robe up. And I was gagging and almost about to vomit. And, you know, that was probably the most mentally break down type of thing I’ve ever done in my life, because if I didn’t feel like at that time, like my life or my family’s happiness or … was depending on it, I wouldn’t have done it. But my mentality at that time … I felt like it was a life or almost death situation. You know, this was God in human form, but that was my mental program – this is God in human form. How could I deny him what he was trying to make me do? There must be some deeper reason or deeper meaning that what I see.”

See video clips [url=http://home.hetnet.nl/~ex-baba/engels/articles/sam young in seduced.html#Parts]here[/url].

Secret Swami:

10.18.38 Alaya Rahm: At the same time I was overjoyed, there was also a little bit of confusion because that was the first interview in which he called me in personally.

10.18.50 Tanya Datta: He took you aside?

10.18.51 Alaya Rahm: Mm, mm. Took me aside and put the oil on his hands and, and told me to drop my pants and rubbed my genitalia with the oil and pulled me close and started kissing me heavily on the mouth and I was really taken back by it and not understanding what was going on.

10.19.13 Al Rahm [Alaya's father]: I said; so tell me about, you know, your interview. And he said; well I’m not supposed to tell anybody, Baba told me not to tell anybody and I looked at him and I said; did he make oil for you? And his eyes got kind of big and he said; how did you know? And I said; did he rub it on you? And he said; yeah. He said; how did you know? And I said; because it happened to me.

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10.29.10 Tanya Datta: What Al and Marisa [Alaya's parents] didn’t know was that while he was showering their family with gifts and attention Sai Baba was exacting a heavy price from their son.

10.29.19 Alaya Rahm: Oral sex he would try to get that to happen several times. Both on, he would perform it to me and then, you know, and then sometimes threaten to cut my penis off and hold it, like it’s bad, I should cut it off. He would ask me all the time; why don’t you want me, you don’t want me. It was so far out to me, to think that he was actually just wanting me to physically want him.

10.29.46 Alaya Rahm: I, I could pretty much stop convincing myself that any of this was spiritual when he lifted his robe and his dhoti up to his chest and showed me the whole bottom half of this body and told me to take my pants off and then he tried to, I’m much taller than he is, he’s like five feet tall maybe and I’m six, six and he tried to climb up onto me, you know.

10.30.12 Tanya Datta: To rape you?

10.30.13 Alaya Rahm: Yeah, that’s what it felt like. I mean he was, for a seventy year old man as erect as I think a seventy year old man can get. I even saw semen come out of his penis one time and that was when I was, wow, this is a human being.

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10.37.10 Tanya Datta: Why didn’t you tell your parents?

10.37.12 Alaya Rahm: Well because he would tell me not to tell them. He would threaten me. I mean I remember him saying; if you don’t do what I say your life will be full with pain and suffering. And that’s a pretty heavy thing to hear being sixteen and God’s telling you do what I say or your life is going to be full of pain and suffering.